The ‘L’ Word
by Chris Hibbard
Lonely Leonard learned a lesson last year, after lying to his lovely Lois led to Lois’ leaving.
Now, lucky Larry is living Leonard’s life, with Leonard’s lost lover Lois and a large litter of lightly leaping leprechauns; playing with long-worn Lincoln Logs at some little lakeside lodge.
Leonard’s lesser life lately is a life of loved and lost: luscious lasagnas eaten in a lowered limousine at red lights, long-lasting lunches at the local law library; lightly limping between lions to learn legalese for a larger lexicon. He leans on the library landing and feels like he’s lurching up a long, lifetime ladder.
Underneath his belated lists of loans and leases and law legislation, are love letters to Lois that remain un-licked. After a day of lessening legal liens with other lawyers and their ledgers, Leonard leaves work for a low-lit lounge. Leonard’s late nights including light lagers and long lines of Lambs’ with lemon, launching a new longing for Lois and their lives unled, their loves unloved.
Leonard’s only love life lately finds him looking like a lizard under lamps and lanterns, leering at large, loose, latin lesbians whose luscious lips and lackluster locks sway above lacy lingerie. Lusting for these ladies, with their loins and their lap-dancing legs, Leonard lets the ladies in his life loom, for they’ll let this poor, lonely loser linger as long as his leaking Loonies last.